Shitless....

A few days over a month since my last post. As much as I want to post more - I don't have much going on to share. I'm 35 weeks now (8 months) with about 5 weeks to go, give or take a day or days. SHITS ABOUT TO GET REAL!!! People ask me on the daily - "So when are you due?" At times I want to answer - oh you know one day or one week less than the last time you asked but I don't think they'd appreciate my sarcasm. Maybe I will just start wearing a sign. HAHAHA. Another question I get is how are you feeling and are you excited?!! Umm well I'm fat and it's hot - I tired is usually my answer. Am I excited? Excitingly SCARED SHITLESS is my constant answer to that question. In approximately one months time - I will have a kid in my arms. If I thought I was responsible before - think again. If I thought I was smart with several answers before - think again. If I thought I've had some practice with the ex's twin girls - think again. These are just some of the random thoughts. Others reassure me I will be a great mom and do just fine. They also reassure me that everyone is scared - and if they say they weren't they're lying. I'm sure I'll be fine with some adjustment but it's still some scary ass shit. I know I'll be a great Mommy - I have an amazing one that's taught me well (and still teaching me). On top of having a great mom, I have great friends who are amazing moms as well as friends who are just here to support me.

This path to motherhood is definitely a path of transitions. I'm extremely lucky to have had such an easy pregnancy so far. I've come to enjoy carrying around this little thing growing inside me. It didn't start that way. I was almost mad at first. I had to change my life before she was even born - it sucked, but it's a transition. It's a transition that no one can explain to you to understand. Don't get me wrong, I still get worried with how much weight I'm going to gain and have to lose but not like I stressed about it at the beginning. My life is still going to drastically change. Some days I will probably hate life while others will feel like nothing I've ever experienced. I feel sorry for guys, they can't ever experience growing a kid. Granted - most would be the biggest little bitches that none of us would ever want to deal with, but I still feel somewhat sorry for them. Guys truly don't get to go through the ups and downs of it all and grow to appreciate it all along the way. When you regularly feel a baby moving around inside - at first it's freaky and even seeing it in the mirror or something is alienish, but then when you all of a sudden don't feel it - you freak the fuck out and your Mommy instincts begin to kick in and you worry something may possibly be wrong. Nothing is - the kid just decided to change it up a bit on you and keep you on your toes.

Well I still pretend to kick ass at the gym - I still do on average 5-6 days a week in CrossFit and I added in prego peeps yoga once a week. I really like yoga, it's relaxing and polar opposite of crossfit. Yoga also helps with the lower back pain I sometimes experience. My days in the gym are definitely slower and less volume. I usually do the class WOD's whatever they are with modifications as necessary. I still try to hit each lift every week. Front, Back, OHS and jerk of some sort. I still can do most things RX such as pull-ups, HSPU's (on 25lb plates with an ab mat), I clean with the barbell in lighter weights or use dumbbells. I don't run - it's a waste of my time - I walk faster so I usually row or use the assault bike. I can still do box jumps but if I get slow I'll do step ups. I still do burpees they're just slightly modified. I do toes to bar on muscle up rings. It allows for a little better kip swing and easier on me so I consider that a modification. Today at 35 wks prego - I was excited to do some cleans. I've been staying away for the most part to avoid bad habits with the bar path, but dumbbells get old. We were working on 70-80% of our 1rm clean (full squat clean for those that need clarification) it was 5 sets of a 1.1.1.1 (10 sec rest). I modified. I did hang cleans then front squats. I warmed up to 105lb squat cleans but I haven't caught anything in the hole in excess of 125lb for a long time (maybe week 20ish) I still based my weight off of at least 70% of 185lbs. I did two sets at 125lb and 3 sets at 135lb. I can't remember the last time I cleaned 135 it was a magical moment. Since I worked form the hang my thighs got a little chaffed from the bar - best feeling ever!!! I was definitely slower, my last rep I would land wide in the quarter squat so I know I will have some work to do after I have Violet. BUT - I can still hang clean 135lb no problem and front squat it no problem. I front squatted this past Saturday up to 155lb x3. I take my time - I warm up going up by 5lbs usually try and stay true to form as much as possible. I stopped at 155 because I was dropping my chest on the 2nd rep. It's hard not to still want to push and see if I can still do more weight - but it's not worth it. Yes I can still push it and do more then the average person can or will do pregnant - BUT I know my limits and take rests when I feel it. It's good to still have my coaches walk by and whisper - YO take it down a notch or slow down.... It's also great to have my coaches and friends believe in my abilities and allow me to still participate in everything. Thank you my RXD family.

So as of yesterday Violet weighs approximately 4lbs 12oz. She is in great condition. Lucky for her she does not show a hole in her heart like Mommy so that's great news. Because I do have a hole, she gets special treatment and has an ultrasound regularly. Her next ultrasound will be in two weeks to make sure she's still doing great. She is on the smaller side -but I'm only 5'4 and Daddy is only 5'9 both of us athletic and not big built so I wouldn't expect her to be on the larger side. I've gained approximately 16lbs thus far I started around 138-140lbs and weighed in at 154.5lbs today. I know she's growing fine because my stomach is still growing so although my weight hasn't increased much - I attribute it to some muscle loss as well. As for the hole in my heart. It's 1.5cm big, the right side of my heart (Right Ventricle) is slightly enlarged. Thankfully - my cardiologist is amazing!! Because I am in such great health I am doing fine doing well with the hole. The DR is surprised that I have not had any symptoms which I explained - I'm sure I have but I just push through the shortness of breathe during a workout because I overcome and try to better my conditioning. My resting heart rate at 4:30pm was 52bpm (that's athlete status fyi). The goal for labor is to have a natural birth without having to have a c-section, as long as there are no complications or my heart doesn't elevate extremely, that's what will happen. My cardiologist would much rather have that considering I will need to get the hole fixed once I have Violet and she doesn't want me to have to have two different surgeries within 2 months. As long as the hole doesn't get a larger, the surgery is NOT OPEN HEART surgery. It would be a more of an outpatient type of procedure with not as much down time. We'll cross that bridge when it comes. All I could think was - DAMN after the hole is fixed - you mean to tell me I'll be able to push it that much more?? Wait so I can become more bad ass?? HAHAHAHa.. I say that jokingly!! :-)

Here is a long video of almost one round of our WOD two saturday's ago.  The WOD was 3 rds 250m row, 15kbs at 70/53, 25 burpees, 15kbs, 250m row; 12 min rest between rounds. Goal was to go max effort each round. My max these days are approximately 70% at a steady pace for me. To paint a picture. My round times were 5:51; 5:59; 5:52; one of our top girls were averaging 4:15ish....

I don't have the time or desire to edit it at the moment - so I am sorry for the length, but you still love me!!!

Until next time party peeps!!!! Hey I'm off work in a week - I'll have some more time maybe, hopefully!